NBA Needs Big Men, Birdmen

Last Thursday night, watching Carmelo Anthony score 38 points against the Portland Trailblazers, I couldn't help think if Hakeem or Ewing had been in the middle, 'Melo wouldn't have gotten past the free throw line.

It reminds me of 1994. A 7-year old me, taking after-school naps on game days to prove to my parents I could stay up late. My dad let me sit in his chair (which was, and still is a big deal) with my 33 Knicks jersey on, holding a basketball.

In the first round, Dikembe Motombo's Nuggets upset the No. 1 seed Sonics, after being down 2-0 in the series. In the Easten Conference, the Knicks won games six and seven against the Pacers to meet up with Houston in the finals.

It came down to Ewing vs. Olajuwon. At times, the series looked more like Rangers / Stars than Knicks / Rockets. Not once, in seven games, did a team reach 100 points. The big men took over, Hakeem scored 26.9 ponts per game and blocked a John Starks three-point attempt at the buzzer to seal game six.

Little Matthew was devastated, but the memories of the two superstar centers are still the best I have of the NBA.

Today, talented big men have gone out of style like Pearl Jam T-shirts. With them, fans too have headed to the exits. The 1993 NBA finals Neilson TV rating was 27.21, in 2007 the rating was 9.29.

How many times can you watch Kobe slice or LeBron freight train through the lane without screaming at the TV, "Can't anyone stop him!?!?"

One of the biggest complaints about the NBA is that nobody plays defense. That's because there isn't anyone to play defense. In the 1994-95 season, the league leader in blocks was 3.9 per game and in rebounds was 16.8 per game. Currently, those numbers are 2.8 and 14, both by Howard. After Howard, the next best is 2.3 and 11.9.

The current leaders in scoring are Wade, LeBron, Kobe and Kevin Durant. Notice anything? All are Jordan wannabes, products of the Isolation play (where four guys stand and watch them drive) and chronic three-point chuckers.

It makes the game about as exciting as minor league curling.

Maybe another reason for NBA apathy is the lack of bad boys. Where is Rodman? Lambeer? Mason? Seems like most guys spend more time slapping hands with the opposition than hacking elbows.

Though little me hated Rodman and the Bulls, reflective me remembers loving to hate him. Who in the NBA do you love to hate in 2009? Um...Howard is a nice guy. Kobe just complains a lot. Ron Artest? Well, you have to be relevant to be hated, so he's out.

The NBA needs more guys like the Nuggets Chris "Birdman" Anderson. Anderson has spiked blonde hair and tattoos of mythical birds colored across both lanky arms. After blocking a shot, the Birdman runs his hands through his hair and sticks out his tongue.

OK so he won't win a sportsmanship award, but it was fun. Trash talk is part of the game of basketball, that's why Shaq still entertains with his occasional "big man pecking order" or "choke artist" comments.

There seems to be no help in sight for the NBA. Hasheem Thabeet of the University of Connecticut may be the only up-and-coming big man, and even he lacks the offensive game of any great centers of the past. Shaq is on his way out, as is Duncan.

Grown up Matthew would love to spend the month of May clutching a basketball, waiting for the next big block or slam, but hopes aren't high considering the finals center matchup could be Pau Gasol vs. Kendrick Perkins....yick...maybe next year.