Classless Joe.....

Former Beverly Hills 90210 actress Tori Spelling did it. That idiot who played Screech on Saved By The Bell wrote one. Now Joe Torre, a long-time pillar of tact in Major League Baseball has stooped to a tell-all.

Torre's new book The Yankee Years is apparently filled with more drama than an episode of The Bronx is Burning mixed with Behind the Music's Metallica saga.

A few questions are burning more than the '77 Yankees: why now? And, why have Tom Verducci write the book in third-person narrative?

Maybe Torre had some things to get off his chest, but was ashamed. Maybe he was bitter about the Yankees back-door firing. Or maybe he bought condo in Malibu, scuba gear and a top-notch Yoga instructor to try to fit in to the Los Angeles lifestyle, but couldn't foot the bill.

Or maybe Torre went the Barbra Walters route, saying, "Hey, I'm old and probably won't accomplish anything else, so why not drop a few bomb shells?" Could be, but at least Baawaa Waawaa had the guts to write in first person.

Reports say Torre winds up and tosses everyone from David Wells, to Alex Rodriguez to Yankee General Manager Brian Cashman swiftly under the bus. Great reporting Joe. Isn’t saying Wells is a pain and A-rod a narcissist like calling Dennis Rodman weird and Barry Bonds a liar?

This book is likely similar to Oliver Stone's recent film W. about our 43rd president. It's a bunch of stuff we already knew, rehashed with a few bells and whistles to stir up some old-school controversy to make money.

In this case, Torre is more transparent than Terrell Owens' tear drops.

Torre is taking a nose dive off the pedestal New York Yankee fans built for him. Even those who couldn't forget his pathetic attempts at managing the New York Mets and St. Louis Cardinals learned to respect Torre. Now, he’s just a wrinkly version of Jose Canseco.

And just like Canseco, he’s bashing the very thing that made him. Canseco came out like some kind of moralist in a Crusade against steroid users, but steroids made him an All-Star and a World Series champion.

Torre sleep-walked his way through four World Series wins. He had the strongest rosters since the Yankees of the 50s and the league’s highest payroll. Those teams practically managed themselves and when they didn’t, Don Zimmer, Torre’s Karl Rove, was there to whisper in Clueless Joe’s ear.

Often you had to wonder if former Yankee pitching coach Mel Stottlemyre had to nudge Joe awake when it was time to make a pitching change.

Torre should be writing letters of gratitude rather than hanging out the same dirty laundry that has been hanging from the Yankee clothes line for years now. Before Torre joined the Yankees he had a winning percentage of .471, as a Yankee .605. Think that had anything to do with being handed players like Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera and Bernie Williams?

When it came down to actually having to manage, Torre failed to win for seven straight seasons despite having George’s blank checks.

He should have waited five years after retirement, wrote a nice rose-colored memoir and let it go.

Classless Joe was all set to ride off into the California sun set, likely as a Hall of Fame manager and known as an all-around nice guy. Before two weeks ago, you mention his name to a Yankee fan and they beamed and giggled like a high school cheerleader when James Dean came on. Because of this silly book, instead of James Dean, he’ll be Screech.