Yankee Fans, I Feel You're Pain

Before I say this, I'd like to kindly ask all Red Sox fans to put down their pick axes, crossbows and hatchets, because....I feel bad for Yankee fans. How can you not empathize with a group of people who are forced to cheer for the most boring, manufactured, colorless team in the history of baseball?

When the Yankees signed first baseman Mark Texiera to a 26-year, 10 zillion dollar deal in the off-season, they crossed the final T and dotted the final I on selling away any chance at their team having a soul. Now officially every player on the team has proved that, to them, money is more important than baseball.

Some of the Yankees players probably had to close their eyes and take a drink before signing their name in blood. Think about Johnny Damon. After winning the world series with the Red Sox, Damon signed with the Yankees. I'm guessing it wasn't because he looked good in blue and white. Since Damon has been a member of the Yanks, he has smiled less than Clint Eastwood.

If you are a Yankee fan, how can you be happy? Isn't what makes a championship team great the role players? You know, it's that guy you never expect to hit the home run or the unsung hero who bunted for a single the play before. That is what makes a sports fan fall in love with a team.

Take a look at some previous world series heroes. All 5 foot nothing, 100 and nothing pounds of David Eckstein won the world series MVP award in 2006. Bill Mazeroski, who hit seven home runs in 1960, hit the walk-off, series winning home run. Pat Borders, who hit .253 with 69 home runs for his career, won the world series MVP for Toronto in 1992.

Sure you have you're big stars, your quarterbacks and slam-dunkers, but its the mix of stars, along with blockers and rebounders that make a winning team lovable.

But, I may be going to far to assume the players' salaries will amount to winning. Would you trust your janitor to put in 100 percent, do his work with joy and excitement and push it to the limit? Or would you assume that he's only doing it because he's getting paid to.

I heard someone say the Yankees winning would be good for America. Hmm, are we a nation that only cares about winning no matter how we got there? I'd like to think not. I'd like to think we were the underdogs who beat the British in the Revolutionary War. But maybe today's sports fans would have cheered for the red coats, or even rooted on Napolean in his attempt take Asia.

Yes, I do feel for these people who will cheer on the Yankees. Because even if they do win the world series, for the rest of time, everyone will always remember them as the team who bought it, not earned it. Remember the 1997 Marlins?

How could you expect anything less from an organization who gasps at a goatee? Those who love baseball don't want crew cuts, they want excitement and a child-like passion from their favorite players. If they Yankees won the series, instead of a dog piling, they'd be meeting with their agents to find out about the bonus.

Just look at who the Bronx Boring are trotting out in the field this year: at first base, Al Gore. Second, a rocking chair. Third, my old P.E. teacher. Left field, that monotone public adress announcer guy. On the mound, a box of cheerios (not the ones with honey). Behind the plate, Mona Lisa. And closing, well, thats still Rivera. The guy is amazing on the mound, but has about as much jolt in him as a West Palm Beach retirement facility.

I'd be more excited watching C-Span than YES this season. How can you not feel bad for fans that have to endure that?